Time for a recap

A new year. Time to reflect. Time to reassess. Time to plan.

It has been almost one entire year since I started writing this blog. When I look at my original goal of reading my mom’s books, I think I did an admirable job. I have read over 20 books. Not just any old books mind you, books that someone else chose and someone else loved. I’ve enjoyed some...and despised others.

Have I learned anything? Good question. I’ve learned that my mom really did love a "good" mystery novel. I am beginning to understand how these books were not just things she read...they influenced her identity.

Do I want to keep reading? Yes! I have seriously only scratched the surface. I read three books over the holidays and there are others I have read and haven’t even written about yet. Not to mention Andrew, my husband, has found himself drawing from our basement library..and might be willing to share his observations.

What have I learned about myself? Well, I scare pretty easily...I already knew that one. Some of these books are seriously terrifying! I’ve also learned that this has been an amazing way to grieve the loss of my mom. Sometimes I just sit and hold the books and wish she was sitting there with me. Many times I go to her bookcases and skim the titles with tears in my eyes. I’m not afraid to cry...I never have been. I have always found it so healing. I used to cry in my car...you know after a particularly tough day at work or a particularly ugly argument with someone. My new spot for emotion is the basement. Why not? We all need our own spot to escape and release. I think these books are helping me along my way.

As for planning, what is to come in the new year? There are a few different ideas floating around in my mind. My mom and I always said we wanted to read all the Canada Reads books...we never did...maybe this year. I’m also considering my own writing...what can I do with this new found passion? I’m also interested in having some input from others this year...not just my little voice chatting away.

Whatever this year holds, I am looking forward to it...and I hope you will read along.

Pass the Book

Christmas, and the holiday season, is a time for reflecting on family traditions. I hear interviewers on the radio asking "What are your family's traditions?" I hadn't really thought about the things we did every single year as "traditions"...but they really are.

Having a mom who adores reading meant that our most treasured traditions involved books. On Christmas Eve, for as long as I can remember, our family would gather on the couch with two special books, "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and a children's bible. Mom would read us the excerpt from the bible that detailed Mary and Joseph's travels, in search of a place to rest for the night. It was like a magical fairy tale with a King, angels, wisemen and shepherds. A very captivating story for small children. Funnily enough this was our family's only exposure to any sort of Religion...the Christmas story.

When mom was finished reading the children's bible we would move on to the classic "Twas the Night Before Christmas". There was just one twist...the book would be passed around to each family member, assuming they were at an age that they could read. In turn we would each read a page. Of course, it was a little like reading aloud in school...you felt a combination of nervous and proud as you belted out your page. Lots of giggles were heard when you "messed up"....that actually is a pretty hard book to read!

There were a whole slew of other steps to our Christmas Eve; annual family photo, pictures of each child in bed as they wave goodnight, setting out the cookies and milk and singing our family Christmas countdown song (a real original).

As is often the case, it was only when I was old enough to hang out with other people on Christmas Eve that I started to miss our traditions. In fact, when we were teenagers my mom and dad would wait for my sister, brother and I to all be home so we could read our books and complete our family traditions. They were a constant in our lives.

Of course the day came when I moved away from home, and moved in with Andrew. What was the first gift I purchased on our very first Christmas Eve..."Twas the Night Before Christmas". Even when it was only the two of us we would pass the book back and forth. We hosted my bro-in-law and mom-in-law a few times on Christmas Eve...and they each had to participate as well.

When the girls were born we decided to introduce "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" to the mix. They enjoy Dr.Seuss, and the story really is a classic. This year Madeline is very excited that she will be able to read her pages with confidence...as she is now an avid little reader. Charlotte is well on her way...this year we will help her read her pages...she can read the "popcorn" words she already knows how to read...by next year I think she'll be reading her pages on her own.

A few weeks ago my sister and brother and I sorted through my mom's Christmas ornaments and decorations. I "inherited" a little mailbox with a teddy bear that my mom crafted herself, my brother "inherited" the original 1970's nativity scene that mom set out on top of the speaker in our livingroom every year, and my sister "inherited" the book - "Twas the Night Before Christmas". We aren't certain where the children's bible ended up...misplaced perhaps.

And so traditions go...rooted in memory and filled with love.

Book as Gift

Well, this is a no-brainer. A book is a perfect gift.

I am not just referring to “classic” works of fiction either. Any form of a book will do. So, what sort of book to purchase. In our house books are found in every corner. My daughters have access to books everywhere. Primarily they read, or browse books, on their own during the day. Our main reading event is bedtime. Ever since the girls could sit we have been reading to them at bedtime...it’s our ritual. Andrew puts Madeline to bed with a book and I put Charlotte to bed with a book. Andrew and Madeline have moved on to chapter novels...while Charlotte and I float between picture books and novels. This is a ritual we all enjoy. Here are a few books that my girls have LOVED over the years...mostly gifts of course.

A prize possession, that both of my daughters (7 years old and 4 years old) have adored is our complete collection of Mr.Men books. I remember these from my youth...and I love sharing the simple stories and colourful artwork with my girls.

When you mention beautiful artwork you really have to mention Eric Carle. His tissue paper creations are stunning. Fortunately, his stories are just as captivating. We are slowly working our way to having all of his books, thanks to a great gift giving girlfriend of mine.

The giving of a complete collection is a wonderful idea. We have “Disney’s Princess Collection”, “The New Adventures of Curious George Collection”, “Disney’s Friendship Collection”, Robert Munsch’s “Munchworks 2 Collection.” Word to the wise; be certain when you purchase these collections that they aren’t too cumbersome. Some collections are individual books, while others are many books bound into one large text. Sometimes these books can be too heavy and too full, making bedtime reading uncomfortable. The collections we have run somewhere around 100 pages. Charlotte loves reading these books, and calling them “chapter books” it makes her feel like a big reader...a definite bonus.

Speaking of her big sister...these days Madeline is completely into the Geronimo Stilton and Thea Stilton collections. So much so that she dressed up as Colette Stilton for Halloween this year...that was a tricky costume to explain. We, the parents, love these books too. They are full of adventures and have just enough artwork to keep Madeline entertained. Another interesting trait of these books is the inclusion of factual information. For instance, learning about the Native Americans who first discovered and named Niagra Falls.

We went through the Junie B.Jones phase last year. We, the parents, weren’t as impressed with these books. There is nothing more irritating than books assuming that children must talk like “children”. The poor grammar was super annoying.

Coming back to Charlotte she has been obsessed with The Berenstain Bears for a couple of years now. I think she might actually be losing her interest. Of course, it could be because we have read each book about 100 times! The “New Baby” book is a go-to gift for moms expecting their second child.

Poetry is another area of interest for the girls. They enjoy Dennis Lee and Shel Silverstein. Who doesn’t love Lee’s descriptive poems about our beautiful city, Toronto. They seem to make everything that is ordinary seem so much more spectacular.

Our never-ending mountain of Dr. Seuss books is definitely here thanks to my mom’s love of these books. Each one was once read by my sister, myself and my brother. Somehow they have landed in the hands of my girls and who knows where they will go next.

I am a fan of writing an inscription inside a book that you are giving. There is something wonderful about reading these inscriptions and knowing who was thinking of you when they gave the book to you. One of my favourite books is inscribed by my, now passed, great-grandmother Violet...fantastic! I love reading the book to Madeline and telling her that the book was given to me by the woman who she is named for...a nice little connection to her heritage found in a book.

These are Christmas too

In what I call my “previous life”...life before children...I had a "real" job. Over the course of my career I worked primarily with marginalized people; new immigrants, the homeless and people living with mental illness. Working with these people opened my eyes to the difficulties faced by so many people around the holiday season.

Although my parents divorced when I was in my early twenties, Christmas has always been about family for me. As a child we would open presents at home on Christmas morning, pack up the car and head to my grandparents for Christmas breakfast, lunch and dinner. The house was always full of food, presents and family. As I grew up I became more aware of other people's celebrations. Nothing made me (and makes me) cry like John and Yoko singing "Happy Xmas (War is Over)" or Band Aid's "Do They Know it's Christmas?" I was wholeheartedly moved by those moments in my youth.

However, it wasn't until I was working at a temp agency, that employed primarily new immigrants and the "unemployable", that I saw how Christmas is celebrated by people living in real poverty. Our Christmas party was full of grateful faces. Grateful for the time we spent having meaningful conversations, grateful for food we had prepared ourselves and grateful for the crafty gifts we presented to each individual.

When you work in social services you don't necessarily get Christmas Day off. It's on Christmas day that you see the real pain of Christmas. The elderly woman sitting in her rocking chair all day long...where she sits 365 days of the year. Visiting with a woman who is so blinded by the grief of her life lost to mental illness that she takes a near overdose of pain meds, simply to have a personal visit. This is how many people spend Christmas day. Through no fault of their own, they have lost family, lost friends and lost that personal connection we all desire.

There certainly are moments of hope. Don't get me wrong. The miracle is in the way people persevere and cope. When I left the woman who had taken the near overdose, she was with her husband...who was preparing a Christmas dinner. The smiles on the people I carpooled to a community Christmas dinner, where they too will create new happy memories. The many foodbank baskets we delivered to our clients homes. Or the homeless people I met at the bus station with tickets to get back "home" in time for the holidays.

I suppose the holidays now are about awareness for me. Being more aware of the story behind the person sitting on the sidewalk with their hand out. I try to fight the cynicism. My mother always gave that person her change. She fought the cynicism. When you open yourself to awareness you see into the hearts of people who deserve much better than they have.

I'll end with a lyric from my favourite Christmas album "Sesame Street Christmas" (1975)

Christmas means the spirit of giving, peace and joy to you.

The goodness of loving, the gladness of living.

These are Christmas too.

The Garden

There is peace within a garden, a peace so deep and calm,

That when the heart is troubled, it’s like a soothing balm.

There is life within a garden, a life that still goes on.

Filling empty places, when older plants have gone.

There is glory in the garden, at every time of year.

Spring, summer, autumn, winter, to fill the heart with cheer.

So ever tend your garden, it’s beauty to increase.

For in it you’ll find solace, and in it you’ll find peace.

Rosamon, Lady Langham

When we moved into this house, about 4 years ago, the front yard garden was nonexistent. There was a dying tree with a sad looking mum planted

on either side. That was just about it! So, we knew what we had to do...plant a garden. My mom pulled out a number of gardening books for me to consult and suggested I take note of trees and flowers that are growing healthily in our neighbourhood. For if there is one thing my mom loved as much as reading books...it was gardening. If you ever had the pleasure of visiting one of her gardens, you know what I mean. She planted gardens with a TON of plants in them! She perfected the fine art of having a garden that bloomed through all seasons. I strive for that now.

My mother has a small bookcase dedicated to gardening books. Some she kept for their majestic photographs and others for the advice they hold. A few of the books I consulted were "Practical Gardening" by Peter McHoy, "The All Season Gardener" and "A Greener Thumb" both by Mark Cullen. Of course I also flipped through many editions of Canadian Gardening Magazine...my mom’s subscription only just ran out!

Together we came up with a design, ripped up the sod (I did that), piled in new soil (I did that), planted many plants and even a new tree. Today, our garden has grown into a beautiful habitat for butterflies, birds, crickets and ladybugs. I kid you not, every single time I am in the garden at least one person stops and lets me know what a wondrous addition our garden is to their walk.

I just closed down the garden this weekend. I love this task. My mom’s advice was to always leave some plants behind for winter interest and as food for the winter hearty birds. So, I always leave my Rudbeckia, Echinacea and Japanese Anemone. She also suggested that plants like Hostas, Lillies and Iris get quite soggy and slimy by springtime...so clean them up in the fall when they aren’t as gross. Hot tip alert: When cleaning up an Iris or Lily remove any leaves that simply pull out out of the ground with a tug. For the leaves that don’t pull out easily, twist these leaves together, fold them onto themselves and tie another Iris leaf around to hold them in place for the winter. Sometimes my mom would even use elastic bands instead of a leaf. Again, leaving these leaves adds “winter interest”.

When all the cleaning is done..the garden looks peaceful. Ready for it’s blanket of snow. Moving through the garden I miss my mom. While her usual job was telling me what to do...I still hear her words in my ears. Perhaps it’s the solitude of gardening. I love having my girls in the garden with me...but the time I spend in the garden alone is glorious. I move quickly through my tasks of pulling, raking, tending. I listen to the wind, feel the sun on my skin and remember the hours my mom and I spent planting this garden and watching it grow.

Book Craft Corner

Well, I'm going to get all crafty now. My last blog inspired me to share two easy craft projects with you. I made two unique bookmarks for my mom, and wanted to show you how to make them. I'm sure I've made many more over the years, but these ones were extra special. In fact,Iam going to make my girls the first one...right now.

Project 1 - Paper Quotation Bookmark

Step 1.

I am always inspired by quotations. I search them out when I write a card for someone. When I add a quotation to my own sentiments the card feels complete. So, the first step is to search out a great, relevant quotation. When searching for quotations I always consult a couple of books I have and the web (I'll list my sources in the side panel). Since I will be putting this quotation on a bookmark...looking for a book quotationseems appropriate. I found that this one and love it for my daughter's bookmark. "The more you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go." Dr. Seuss

Step 2.

Search for an image to accompany your quotation. This could be a drawing, photo or free clip art from the web. In this case I chose a tree with books as leaves. Seemed fitting. (again sources on the side panel).

Step 3.

Copy & paste your quotation and image into a document using your word processing program. Align the image and the quotation so they read as a bookmark does, leaving enough room for a hole where you will put your ribbon. When you have finished playing with the positioning and the font style/size...print the bookmark. You can use whatever paper you like, however thicker papers, or cardstock work the best.

Step 4.

Once printed punch a hole in the one end of your bookmark. Select a piece of ribbon, approximately 12" long. In my case I also tied two bird shaped beads to the ends of the ribbon. Remember, this ribbon will be visible from outside of the book...make it beautiful.

Step 5.

Once you have selected and cut your ribbon it is time to feed it through the hole. Fold the ribbon in half (lengthwise), push the fold through the hole. Once pushed through feed the open ends through the loop you have created...pull. Ta Da! Your bookmark is complete. Remember when giving a bookmark...give a book too!!

Project 2 - Beaded Bookmark

Step 1.

This bookmark requires a little research. Check out your recipients book collection. Do they tend to read paperbacks or hardcovers? This will determine the length of the bookmark you make. Once you know what size the books are cut a piece of ribbon, string or waxed thread (used in making jewelry) to the length of the average book - plus about 4 inches on each end. These 4" will give you plenty of thread to work on your beading, which will hang outside of the book.

Step 2.

Select the beads you want to use. My mom loved blue...so blue beads were in order.

Step 3.

Tie a knot in your thread, 4" from one end, then feed a pattern of beads on and knot at the end. Do the same with the other end of the thread. Between these two beaded ends, you should have a large portion of thread that is void of beads...this section will be inside the book, allowing the book to close without obstruction.

Step 4.

Take it for a test run in the book you are giving your gift recipient.

Ta Da! You are done yet another bookmark!

Hope you enjoyed my delving into crafting! Have fun...let the bookmark building begin!

Be A Lert!

As we read a book and turn the pages we eventually get tired, or distracted, and we are ready to close the book. We do not want to leave our characters behind. It’s difficult to exit the world we have entered so wholly. However hard it might be to put the book down, our real lives are beckoning us on. The children are calling, the pillow is calling or work is calling. If we simply close the book, how will we ever find our way back to the place where we ended.

For some readers the very thought of turning the corner of the book down to mark the page is scandalous. Injuring the page that has brought you so much joy is considered a sin. I like turning down the page to mark my place. I enjoy reading a book from the library and seeing the mark of a previous reader. Wondering how that reader interpreted the actions or words of the protagonist. These little marks on the page add to the character of the physical book itself. Well, that’s my opinion at least.

My mother did not share this opinion. When she came to the end of a passage and was ready to put the book down...she used a bookmark. I remember as a young child what easier gift was there to give my mom then a bookmark. Not as expensive as a hard cover book...but just as useful. One of the earliest bookmarks I can recall had the cartoon sketch of a bow tie wearing penguin with the words “The Butler Did It”. Or there was the classic cartoon sketch of a cracked egg, bright eyes peaking out, and the caption “Be A Lert, the world needs all the lerts it can get.” To a child this was a little confusing...eventually I figured it out.

Going through my mom’s bookcases I managed to gather up a pile of 78 bookmarks...78! Bookmarks were my mom’s postcards. When she travelled she didn’t stop at the racks of tacky picture postcards, instead she picked up bookmarks from the local library, bookstore or artisan. They mark locations in South Africa, Cuba, England, Wales, and across Canada. Of course, my mother’s friends also saw the value of bringing home bookmarks from their travels for my mother. So her collection also included souvenirs from places she had never visited herself, but had wished to go. These include Ireland, Australia, etc. Recently, I received in the mail a bookmark from one of my mom’s dearest friends. She had been traveling abroad and saw a bookmark that she knew my mom would have enjoyed. This friend picked up the bookmark and sent it to me...in hopes that I would put the platypus bookmark to good use...I am.

The other day I was standing in a bookstore and a man asked the sales clerk if they had any free bookmarks. When the clerk said that they didn’t, the man set his sights on the super cutsie collection of bookmarks they had for sale. The bookmarks were clearly aimed at young teens and children...filled with vampires, cats and cars. I looked over at him and suggested he head over to the library, next door, where you can find a variety of free and interesting bookmarks. He smiled, thanked me and said he would probably just use the receipt from his book as the bookmark. Another viable option I said.

The next time you come to the end of your reading for the day, think about how you mark your place. Do you turn down the corner of the page, have comical bookmarks, use a homemade bookmark or one from your travels around the world? What is your bookmark?